Sometime in the middle of 2011 tothebrotherswelost, January 3, 2024August 17, 2024 I feel like my life is about to turn around for the better this time. I don’t really know how to describe it, but strangely, I kind of anticipated it. It’s the kind of feeling you get when you’re walking home on a quiet night after a long day of carrying out various acts of kindness and you suddenly stop, look up at the stars, and even though you’re tired, you can’t help but smile. Or when you’re wandering around a big city during the peak hours of the day and this unexpected feeling of belonging blooms inside of you. You just feel good and anticipate more. You know, I was once told that in life, the things that make an impact on our lives will randomly come. They will hit hard and maybe, just maybe, they will last a lifetime. Who knows how long this excitement will last. Ten days earlier, I was finally able to say that things were completely over between her and I. The feelings were gone and I was content with the way we ended things. I was moving on from it all which meant that I was spending my 21st birthday alone in my room. I don’t really know why. I had a lot to celebrate. I was going to graduate with my AA degree in a few days, move to San Francisco in a few months, and live the college life for two whole years. But none of that mattered. My birthday hadn’t meant anything to anyone in such a long time. I wished myself a happy birthday and continued on with my life. For the next few days, I returned back to my daily routine of finding potential friends online. For every ten messages I sent out, I would get a reply from one or two people. The rejection was brutally painful and the process quite lonely. My expectations were pretty low, and frankly, I didn’t expect anyone to actually respond. So, when I saw a missed message, I was stunned, and hesitated briefly before opening it. It’s funny how a single message from an absolute stranger is all it takes to change someone’s life. I mean, I hope this person is the one. After-all, he did message me first. And I guess, that’s what makes his appearance into my life that more special. Share this:TwitterFacebookMorePrintEmailRedditTumblrPinterestWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Journal AnxietyBlogDepressionGriefJournalLGBTLifeLoveMental HealthPersonalPoemRelationshipsSadSadnessTherapyWriting
Journal Sometime at the end of 2012 October 12, 2023September 2, 2024 I had that dream again. The one where I wake up to the sound of familiar voices coming from outside the bedroom door. The dream where I walk downstairs and as I glance around, I come to a gradual stop and my face is in disbelief at the sight of… Share this:TwitterFacebookMorePrintEmailRedditTumblrPinterestWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Read More
Journal Sometime in the beginning of 2013 August 17, 2024September 2, 2024 A Story: There was this guy. Average in every way possible. He was a nice guy. Quiet and shy. One day he realizes he likes men. Of course he doesn’t tell anybody. So life goes on. And as the years go by, he becomes confused. And confused. And confused. Lost…. Share this:TwitterFacebookMorePrintEmailRedditTumblrPinterestWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Read More
Happy Birthday. I remember my 21st birthday. My roommates and I went out to the local bar that gave a free drink on that day. It was a week night. We talked, laughed, and went back to our apartment to study. That was 56 years ago. The years in between were profound, challenging, and I guess normal, cause that’s how life is. Best wishes for your coming half century. John Reply
Hi John. Thank you for always having something positive to say. This was something that I wrote a decade ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long! I am happy that you had a fun and exciting 21st birthday with friends. It seems like you have a kind and inviting spirit that has stayed with you throughout the years. There is a lot to look forward to in the next coming years for me. Thank you for the best wishes! Reply
Happy 21st Birthday, There is certainly a feeling of familiarity in that realisation, after you break up with your girlfriend, both of you finally stop talking and suddenly that numb yet jubilant joy hits you. You are both free, you should be happy, yet there is that emptiness with you now you have not felt in a while. Back on the hobby horse as a female friend said to be years ago and she was an energetic girl. It is great you found someone you could mould with, though becareful about ‘online’ friends. They are rarely what they say on the tin. Much respect anyway, nicely written Reply
It’s it interesting that sometimes strangers can feel more supportive than actual friends and family. Thanks for sharing ❤️ Reply
Happy 21st birthday ! I wish you a happy life and to find the right partner . You may know that or not , getting notified from your blog adds positivity to my life . I hope you continue writing; you encourage me to write and not to lose hope that way . Thank you. Reply
Your post reminded me of my 50th birthday. I had just moved from Fort Collins, Colo. (nice, friendly, somewhat small town) to Los Angeles (not nice, not friendly, not small). As my birthday approached, I thought it would be nice to find some new friends and gather for a night out. But I got busy with work and forgot about my birthday. When did I remember it? It was a Saturday night, and at 10:00PM I was typing the District newsletter for the 11 salesmen I managed. I felt a tremor, noticed the pictures were starting to dance around on the walls – my first earthquake in L.A. And that was when I remembered it was my birthday. It took me three months to extricate myself from that job! That was 35 years ago. The adventures of Life have continued, with many moves, many friends, and many memories. Thanks for triggering that memory! And happy birthday to you. Reply
You have such a beautiful way of expressing yourself and capturing the emotions that you go through and admire your courage and resilience in moving on from your past relationship and finding new friends online. Reply